he simple answer is yes, it’s 100% OK for a man to cry, if he feels the need to at his wedding.
Traditionally the saying goes: “real men don’t cry”. They’re supposed to be the “strong, silent type”, fuelled with testosterone to protect their family. I suppose the idea came about because any sign of “weakness” such as crying will be exploited by the “enemy” and used to bring them and their loved ones down.
So when it comes to a wedding, some will say it’s not the done thing to shed any tears, real men don’t cry.
But I’m here to reassure you that notion is utter rubbish!! Is 100% OK for a macho man to show his emotions, even at a wedding and shed a few tears if he feels the urge to shed tears.
I know that from experience. I’ve photographed several hundred weddings over the years and I’ve seen some of the outwardly “macho” men break down at key parts of their wedding.
I’ve certainly never felt they’re weak, and neither have their family and friends. If anything, everyone has thought the total opposite. They’ve sensed his strength, love and affections for his wife.
Guys, if further proof we’re needed, here are a few examples to show it’s becoming more acceptable. So don’t hold back if you feel the need to cry!
Groom Crying During Wedding Ceremony
Generally I’ve found the first time tears are shed, is when the groom sees this bride for the first time walking down the aisle such as:
Groom Crying During Speeches
Father of the Bride Crying Seeing His Daughter in Her Dress
Men crying at a wedding isn’t the exclusive right of the groom either. Oftentimes, the father of the bride is overcome with emotions at seeing his beautiful daughter in her dress for the first time.
What if Im Not Comfortable Showing My Emotions In Front of Camera?
I’m very discreet and I can assure you, you won’t even be aware of me photographing you. Couples are often surprised by what I’ve captured for them when they see the results. One bride wrote: “Thank you for capturing our moments so candidly and authentically. You were like a secret agent, scooting around so quietly that we barely ever knew you were around which made for such honest photographs…Even in a tiny chapel with limited space and tight corners you managed to artfully capture the essence of the hour exquisitely and with 100% discretion.”
What if I Don’t Want to Cry?
Just to balance out my comments above too: I’m certainly not saying crying is the only way to show you care. It’s also totally fine if you DON’T cry. Maybe you’re not the crying type and prefer to reserve your show of affection to a personal, alone-moment. So don’t feel pressured to perform or do what’s expected.
I say this as I’ve also seen that there is often an unfair expectation for, eg how the groom should react to seeing his bride for the first time. I read one bride said: “If you don’t cry, I’m going to punch you!”
I’m sure she only meant it as a joke, but that can subconsciously add extra pressure to her man. That’s something I don’t agree with either!
If you sense that may be a problem, have an honest heart to heart chat before your wedding, hopefully you can reassure her of your love, however you react during your wedding.
Also, us guys may have a whole host of other worries going around in our minds during a wedding that “distract” us from showing our real emotions. “Is my suit buttoned up correctly?” “What’s that noise behind me?”, “Who’s that I can see watching me from the corner of the room?”, “What did the minister/registrar just say?”, “Is the part where I repeat their words and say my vows?”, “After this I still have the speeches to go and I’m not a natural speaker!”, etc.
The struggle is real!
Why Choose a Documentary Photographer?
As a documentary photographer, my approach to every wedding is that of a quiet observer while focusing on the often fleeting, natural story-telling moments. Even my cameras are super quiet as I, where necessary use what’s called an electronic shutter that has no mechanical sound to interfere with intimate moments like above. That’s why you won’t feel like you’re in front of a paparazzi press-pack with their camera motor drive clattering away at 20 frames per second.
You won’t even notice my presence or hear anything except probably your own heartbeat and your approaching wife’s too, as she’ll no doubt be as emotional as you.
In Conclusion
Whatever happens on your day, try to just be yourself and be real. That way you’ll enjoy what will surely be one of the most important days of your life.
